"We don't need you. Not as a doctor."
"Oh, no? Would you like to see how fast I can put you in a hospital?"

- Sandoval and McCoy, before McCoy punches him

"People do things. It's a fact!" - Almighty Super-God-King Master Shake

"What is the cause, Laertes,
That thy rebellion looks so giant-like?" - Claudius, Hamlet

"You know radar spelled backwards is radar?" - Roostre

"Your dad, and I have spent over 10 years and $94,000 putting together my mosquito costume, and now I 'am pleased to announce that I have become a mosquito. The costume is quite realistic, and I have even attached bladders to the nose thing so that I can suck up liquids when I puncture them...with my nose thing. I could be buzzing all around you on a hot summer day and you wouldn't even recognize me as your son-child, you would just think, Get away, mosquito. From my point of view, you would be 3,000 dads because of the way I've designed the eyeballs. I might be saying, Dad it's me, Dad it's me, but you wouldn't be able to understand my language because of its buzzing. I 'am also into plastics now. I am making plastic tubes that you can suck liquids through, kind of like my mosquito nose, but used for different reasons. Hope you're doing well at camp. See you soon. Mos--Mosq--Mosquito, Mosquitor? Mosqui, Mosquithing... I don't know who that is." - Liquor, 12oz mouse

"Christianity is stupid, communism is good!" - Rev. Estus Pirkle

"Feel that beef right there" - Xavier, Renegade Angel

"Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad."
- Greek dude

"There are no grapefruit at this time of year at our house. Those that claim that there are show that they do not understand the real nature of the problem." -Edward Heath

"Any decent American is going to smack your sack off for being a dirty Arab"
-Xavier: Renegode Angle

"Put the Gold with the D of two together. Very dangerous. I feel that this child cans not handles. I distrust him." -Text How Big

"I've long believed that if you persevered at your dream long enough, it'd eventually come true. But here's a question I've often asked: what if someone's talent was in something no one was interested in? They could conceivably persevere forever and get nowhere ..."

-Neil Hamburger

"Stay out of trouble. If you don't, you will get your stupid ass arrested & whisked away to jail. Felons don't come to prison to rock or rap. They come to serve long jail terms for convictions of breaking the law. If you're sent to this prison structure to serve a prison sentence, you will not walk the streets again."
- Wesley Willis

"Here's a touchin' story. Once upon a time you died, and I lived happily ever after. The end." - Sniper

"It's time to abort your whole friggin' species!"
-Duke Nukem

"How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?" - Jaden Smith

"I haven't paid taxes in six years, I'm not getting busted by a sandwich!" - Master Shake

"Girls is like horses. When you fall down, it's important that you get right back on again, on a different horse. And there's a lot of fish in the sea. A lot of fish. A penny saved is a penny earned." - Jake the Dog

"What memories? I'm like a goldfish over here!" - Ice King

"Excuse the League quotes, I used to play that game for a while around 2016..."
-Martz